Tackling Natural Hair Insecurities

"Your hair doesn't make you who you are, it's just an extension of you." -Anonymous 

Lately my mom and I have been battling with my younger sister over her hair. She is 13 and has a beautiful set of curls that never seem to blow me away with their length, thickness and curl pattern. Yet she refuses to bother with it in its natural state and prefers to wear micro braids. It's perfectly fine if she wants to wear braids but my mom and I just can't figure out why in the world she would want to hide such gorgeous hair.

Wearing your hair natural takes some guts; we live in a society where straight hair is advocated in the media, where relaxers and flat irons are flying off the shelves and women are told subliminally (and sometimes obviously) that their curly, wavy, or even short hair isn't good enough. People also make lots of assumptions about natural African-American hair; they think its not manageable, its unattractive, unprofessional and its something that should be hidden. It is very difficult to accept your hair the way it is when others are looking at your hair like its despicable but you must accept your hair. One thing you can't accept is society's opinion of your hair because the only one that matters is yours. 

Natural hair insecurities exist for everyone. Caucasians, Hispanics and many others struggle with their wavy and curly hair. I've seen so many of my white and Hispanic friends straighten their hair every single day in order to "perfect" their hair because their curls or waves are just impossible to deal with. Thinking back to when I was younger, and relaxed, I never thought anything was wrong with me getting my hair relaxed or them straightening their hair, I just didn't realize the extent of what a lack of confidence can do to someone, even myself. 

One thing that really gets to me is that my sister is so lucky: she has a mother and a sister with natural hair. Very few girls grow up with natural hair role models. I get it, she's just 13 and I know that when she goes to school she doesn't see black girls with TWAs or twist-outs and it can be very discouraging at that age to be the only one with a tightly curled fro. Maybe with age and time she can understand that her hair is absolutely beautiful, not only that but that her hair is not who she is, but only a part of her.