More Debating on Black Hair

I just watched this video at EBONY.com

There were a few things that really had me thinking:

1. "A weave in disarray is better than a nappy 'fro any day." First of all, I DIED. To me this mentality is kinda funny but it is also offensive and hurtful. As a young, single college girl with natural hair I wonder if every guy I meet has this mentality. Does hair really hold men back from approaching a certain type of woman?

2. Does my hair really make me seem like a "deep" person? Not saying that I only possess superficial knowledge but my hair can't possibly have people thinking I'm a vegetarian, neo-soul loving, seashells-in-my afro type girl, right?
Then what does having relaxed hair or weave say about a woman? In a way this mentality degrades relaxed girls by assuming that they have no substance and it stereotypes women with natural hair.

3. Is it really just hair? Ok, let's be honest, when we do anything to alter or fix up our outside appearance there is a deeply rooted psychological cause or effect. C'mon, think about why you went natural in the first place. I was a firm believer that hair is hair and that's it but this video has me thinking that its more. As black women our hair has more history and variation than any other nationality, stemming back to Africa and our ancestors habitation in the Caribbean, Europe and South America.

4. If anything hair should be a way that we can relate to one another.  Whether we have weave, a relaxer, or no hair at all we have to support one another and be understanding. I can't stand the thought that there is an east coast vs. west coast type of beef going on between black women over our hair. How are our little sisters and daughters going to treat each other if we can't accept that someone else's hair is different?

HSOTD: Twist-Out Success!

Last night I was determined to get the best twist out ever! In the past they have been pretty unsuccessful; lots of frizz, no definition. I'm usually so disappointed I just pull it back in a puff. But today  I was ecstatic to see the definition and shine that my hair possessed!

There were a few things I did differently:

1. I made more twists than I usually would-about 12

2. I used bobby pins to hold down that extra space above the twists that gets puffy. The bobby pins helped the hair to lay flat.

3. I didn't use curlers or pins to hold the ends. Usually I'm paranoid about my twists loosening while I sleep so I use curlers or pins to insure my hair wont unravel. This time I chose not to and none of my twists came undone and the ends had a more natural look to them that flowed with the rest of the curl pattern.

I used Cantu Shea Butter Leave-In Conditioning Repair Cream to seal in moisture. As usual I conditioned my hair with Herbal Essences Hello Hydration conditioner.

Reaching a Plateau...and Getting Over It

It's really strange to think of myself as an adult. I'm 19 but I still feel like a kid and I still am in some ways. So it feels weird as I sit home watching reruns of Ugly Betty during my winter break realizing that the dreams I had in high school are still in the back of my mind and they're attainable.

I spent all of high school working my behind off in order to make good grades and get into college, which was my short term dream, and I did it. I seized every academic, volunteer, and extracurricular opportunity that I could and I excelled, I was amazing! But now what?

Growing up you witness so many different versions of what the "real world" is like whether you see it on television or hear it from your parents, and it is all so confusing. It's intimidating to be standing at the doorstep of this crazy world, getting ready to ring the doorbell and be pulled into the chaos. I don't know what the world has to offer, I just know what I have to offer to the world; I have goals and dreams that I want to reach but the hard part is putting everything into perspective and not just seeing my goal but how I'm going to reach it.

I guess I'm at a plateau. I see myself achieving everything just like I did in high school but I'm so confused as to how I'm going to get there. No, I'm not trying to do things that are impractical, I'm a dreamer not an idiot. Recently, I've made the mistake of being negative and shooting down my aspirations before I even figure out what I'm doing. I can't do that to myself; just like everyone else I have to be my biggest and peppiest cheerleader.

Being young and ambitions, fresh out of high school and still under the wings of two great parents is a great position to be in. There are people that are twice my age trying to step out and do things their way, I've got time on my side. So in the meantime I'm going to start writing down my short and long term goals and figuring out how I'm going to reach them. I'm going to work as hard as I can and then see what happens; let's face it, I can do everything in my power but in the end its all in God's hands.

Tackling Natural Hair Insecurities

"Your hair doesn't make you who you are, it's just an extension of you." -Anonymous 

Lately my mom and I have been battling with my younger sister over her hair. She is 13 and has a beautiful set of curls that never seem to blow me away with their length, thickness and curl pattern. Yet she refuses to bother with it in its natural state and prefers to wear micro braids. It's perfectly fine if she wants to wear braids but my mom and I just can't figure out why in the world she would want to hide such gorgeous hair.

Wearing your hair natural takes some guts; we live in a society where straight hair is advocated in the media, where relaxers and flat irons are flying off the shelves and women are told subliminally (and sometimes obviously) that their curly, wavy, or even short hair isn't good enough. People also make lots of assumptions about natural African-American hair; they think its not manageable, its unattractive, unprofessional and its something that should be hidden. It is very difficult to accept your hair the way it is when others are looking at your hair like its despicable but you must accept your hair. One thing you can't accept is society's opinion of your hair because the only one that matters is yours. 

Natural hair insecurities exist for everyone. Caucasians, Hispanics and many others struggle with their wavy and curly hair. I've seen so many of my white and Hispanic friends straighten their hair every single day in order to "perfect" their hair because their curls or waves are just impossible to deal with. Thinking back to when I was younger, and relaxed, I never thought anything was wrong with me getting my hair relaxed or them straightening their hair, I just didn't realize the extent of what a lack of confidence can do to someone, even myself. 

One thing that really gets to me is that my sister is so lucky: she has a mother and a sister with natural hair. Very few girls grow up with natural hair role models. I get it, she's just 13 and I know that when she goes to school she doesn't see black girls with TWAs or twist-outs and it can be very discouraging at that age to be the only one with a tightly curled fro. Maybe with age and time she can understand that her hair is absolutely beautiful, not only that but that her hair is not who she is, but only a part of her.