Another Rant!

 People are really trying to come at me about my hair! I have never been so upset in a conversation about hair...

An acquaintance ( not even considering her a friend) of mine and two of my close friends and I started talking about hair. This conversation comes up all the time between women but when you're the only natural in the room you feel like you're about to be cornered.

This acquaintance asked me my reasoning behind going natural (I'll get to that later). I let her know and it seemed like she was very derogatory toward natural, as if she was expecting me to start attacking people with relaxed hair. Of course I wasn't going to do that but she doesn't know me that well.

The reason why I got so upset was because she told tell me that I wasn't really naturally or more or less that I was a hypocrite because I still straighten and dye my hair.

Let me just give the breakdown on how I feel about hair. Hair is hair. If I want to straighten my natural hair it is a completely different concept than using chemicals to permanently alter the state of my hair. And that's what it is, a state, as in when I wet it, it goes right back to being curly. Relaxed hair doesn't do that, plain and simple. Relaxed hair has been chemically altered and if you want curly hair you have to curl it with heat or some other method. I do not permanently alter my hair.

Yes, I dyed my hair. Does that make me a hypocrite or does that just make me someone who likes to experiment with different looks? People take hair so seriously when in reality it shouldn't be given that much value.

I know that natural hair is not always acceptable but people walking around with their relaxed hair broken off or their tracks sticking out of their heads are acceptable? Its okay if you hair looks like crispy straw, as long as you got that perm, girl! Are you kidding me?

This is my last point and I'm going to try to leave this topic alone...for a while.

Why do we feel the need to be someone that we are not? I say we because I was once relaxed. I went natural because I just started to question why I even needed a relaxer. Was it because that was what was done to my hair since childhood? That's no excuse. For me, there was no legitimate reason why I needed to relax my hair. No matter how much I did it I wasn't going to look European, I was still going to get made fun of by the white kids I went to school with, but it was okay because my hair wasn't "nappy"? I literally got my scalped BURNED so that I could look "presentable", yet I was still the laughing stock of my peers.

Is it really worth it? No matter how you wear your hair, there are people who will degrade you and insult you and tell you that you're not good enough. Why can't we just lift each other up? Why don't black mothers and fathers tell their daughters that they're beautiful just the way they are?

We live in a really messed up society and we, as African-Americans, have really got to start lifting each other up or else we will continue down this self-destructive road of ignorance and self-depreciation. I'm breaking this cylce.

Some deep topics...

I am at a loss for words. I don't know where to begin this post but I feel like ranting so just get ready.

There are times when I really want to know why society has screwed us up the way it has. I know that everyone is effected by society-TV, pop culture, music-you name it, but I'm going to focus in on African-Americans. Why? Because I'm a young black female, a demographic that is highly underrepresented and overly stereotyped.

So, I was taking to two friends the other day and we just so happened to end up on the two topics that bother me most; natural vs. relaxed hair and skin tone.

WHY? Why is there a heated debate about hair? Dare I say it as a natural but I honestly don't care if your hair is relaxed or not. What right do I have to preach to you about hair when I barely combed mine this morning?!

I know quite a few people who consider their natural hair to be "nappy" (cringe). That word is so ugly, it has such a negative connotation and it takes away from everything that having natural hair is about; being true to your roots, literally. The only people I hear using the term "nappy" or see turning up their faces at natural hair are African-Americans.

The compliments I got on my natural hair came from the Caucasian people that I went to high school with. Eventually, when I started to wear my hair in cool styles, I got the compliments from black people, followed by the ever-present "I could never go natural". WHY NOT?

I don't understand why people are so bewildered by natural hair, ESPECIALLY if they have not educated themselves on natural hair and hair care. Of course there are things I do to my hair and products that I use on it that relaxed women can't or won't use, does that make it so taboo? Or is it the fact that my hair isn't bone straight and blowing in the wind?

I don't know what the big debate is all about; hair is hair. It comes in different colors, lengths and textures. BUT I would appreciate it if people would know what they were talking about when they start comparing natural and relaxed hair.

Don't get me started on skin tone. Black people come in all shades and I think each one is beautiful. So why is it that darker AND lighter skin people are mocked and made to feel ashamed of their skin color? My mom has very fair skin and I remember being asked if I was mixed or if my mom was Hispanic throughout my childhood and teen years. Why does someone have to be mixed to have fair skin? Why is fair skin associated with beauty?

The perceptions that people have of what's light skin v. what's dark skin is crazy! I got quite a tan over the summer months so its not apparent in current pictures but my skin is a medium tone and my brother, who is darker than me, swears up and down that I'm "light". Yet many people would consider me medium brown.

I'm not sure where the perceptions of light skin and dark skin come from but I just want to know why we can't love ourselves and our fellow black people for who they are and not what they look like.

And that's enough of that....